Mom (moving_on) wrote,
Mom
moving_on

guilt

Lately I've been feeling torn again between anger and guilt and understanding - but at least this being torn is a three-way rather than a two-way pulling. It is more stable, less rocking back and forth.

I'm still angry that I had to deal with a lot of garbage from being in relationship with a tg husband who wouldn't face the issue honestly. At the same time, I have some understanding of why e couldn't face it. And now I'm also having guilt that even though I can understand the ex, I'm still angry and the wounds of my own existential crisis which came out of a lot of sexual problems and insecurities are now affecting my current relationship more than I thought they would. I still have a lot of healing to do. On the one hand I blame my ex for causing it, on the other hand I totally understand. I feel stuck.
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